Startling as it may be, in three short months I will be joining the 26 club. I am so, so not ready for this.
I’m also not ready for being called a ‘lady’ in shops, in my head I’m still a ‘girl’, and having to manage my own miniature stash of money.
There are so many things I wish I could go back and change when I was younger.
Some being: not to jump out from my gate to give my neighbours a fright as they walk down the street (this still haunts me to this day), not to spend an extra £20 on a shitter laptop I bought for college, (I left college seven years ago, this should not still bug me) and many, many, many horrendous fashion choices that I cannot get over (mismatched Converse anyone?) *shudder*
And here we are! Somewhat older, somewhat fatter but a lot/little more wiser than what I was ten years ago. So here is my advice to my younger self, and for those younger than me (I’m looking at you Tara Cameron! You’re my cousin so I’m here to save you from years of teenage angst) to let them see that it’s not always as bad as it seems. Not like I’m worth basing your life on. I’m still struggling to work out if I’ll make it to 26 with my kinda good credit still intact!
So here it is, my top 5 points of advice I’d give to my younger self had she not grown into myself. I’m working myself up in circles now, aren’t I?
- N o one in school is having sex. And if they are? They’re called sluts so you can’t win. Just hold your head high, leave school, take the good people with you and leave the losers behind. And when you do have sex? It’s not what it looks like in the films. Be prepared to laugh! It’ll get you through it!
2. YOU ARE NOT FAT! You’re the ideal weight I’d kill to be now! Wear that crop top for Christ’s sake!
3. Going through the emo faze was and is still cool as fuck. Own it and continue to listen to Funeral for a Friend and Taking Back Sunday. The Music is amazing and perfect to thrash about to. However, if you can avoid it, don’t dye your hair black. It’s a nightmare to get rid of.
4. Believe it or not, wine tastes better as you get older. Weird, right? It also gets you drunk faster at parties. Just make sure it’s super cold and you’re good to go. Beer on the other hand, still working on that one.
5. Your parents are right. I know, it sucks but they generally are right on the big, scary stuff. What gets terrifying is when they ask you for help and advice. Then you know you’re a grown up.
So, aye! That’s about it! Let’s all laugh at me in my teens…